Letter to Self: Write a letter to your 12-year-old self.
Let’s get something out the way, stop running that fucking water deck. I get it your initials are “MER” but that doesn’t mean you need to run the deck, kid. Sorry, but you ain’t winning shit with that deck. Sell the pieces and get something like Gadgets, Tomato Control, and/or DDT (Diamond Dude Turbo…keep up). The game is way too control-heavy at the moment. Gotta keep up.
You’re not stuck. Despite the people, you are surrounded by saying or doing. The world isn’t bitter, despite what you’ve been shown. You don’t have to be afraid. You’re different. You’re smart, creative, and hard-working.
Always remember you’re strong. Emotionally, mentally, and physically. You’ve always stood up against bullies and taken them on. You put yourself in harm’s way, just to save other assholes. Remember when you walked home from school. You were beefin with those Southern Ave boys for that kid from your school. Motherfucker didn’t even help you. You were getting jumped, while he got on the 22 to Jackson. Playing his corny ass PSP. Oh, what about when you fought Harold. He was talking shit to his girl, which was your friend at the time. He fucked you up and dragged you across the classroom, but you still fought him. He and all the other hoods had mad respect for after that. Keep that! Grow from that.
Some personal shit. Being dyslexic and having ADD/ADHD doesn’t mean dick. Nothing at all. You can accomplish anything your little heart desire.
“This nigga mick is slow”
“Mick, nigga you can’t read”
“Stop being a bitch”
“Stop being so fucking dainty”
Fuck them. You’re fucking amazing. Be authentic forever and always. Being you is the greatest gift you can give to this fucking world? Listening to the bullshit people try to project onto you, stunts your growth. Don’t let that shit happen. Listen to your voice.
Your parents. Don’t hate them. They did their best. They’re still trying to find themselves. You’re too young to actually understand, but they’ve lost as well.
Your mom. She is trying her best to raise you three assholes. She may not have the best solutions to problems, but she tries her best. I know you think she doesn’t care about you because she never supports you. Someone had to pay the rent. She loves you so very much, and supports you. When nobody’s there for you, mommy is the only one that’s there for you. You don’t know it, but She’s really depressed. She feels hopeless and feels very stagnant. Be nice to her, she needs you guys as much as you need her.
Your Dad. Don’t hate him. It’s wasted energy. Well, you never had hate for him. Once you meet him, you’ll see he’s pretty cool. He also loves you. He’s trying his best to make up for the lost time. Also, the dude is one of the funniest people you’ll ever meet.
*SPOILER,* You don’t have a sister. The little girl you use to play with, on Ruggle Street. She ain’t your sister. You’re his only child.
Your Friends. Let’s start with the kids in the neighborhood. Those kids are assholes. Straight up. These dudes are stealing cars, selling them to the Chop Shops around the way. *SPOILER,* We had to participate in a couple of those, we needed the bread. You don’t need to be involved in that stuff. School friends? Legit, only like 4 of them. The rest just fade. Except for Renard, that’s my dog. Your friends you meet at the Baker House. Those are you fucking guys. You’re going to be stuck with them. They’ll be there with you through it all. So treat them great.
Well, kid, that’s all I have to tell ya. Your resilience, creativity, and your personality will help you through life. Combine with your strong work ethic, you’ll make a good life for yourself. Don’t be afraid, be bold, and get after your goals and dreams.